Self-Acceptance

Part of the journey of “adaptive librarianship” is continuing to renew my commitment to self-acceptance.  Can I rejoice in my abilities and let go of my limitations?  Just putting words around it is part of the journey.
I spoke at the CUNY Diversity and Inclusion conference last Friday. I wanted to underline that no one should be judged by outward appearances. So I began with a list of things that I do really well…
Information Structures
Writing
Teaching / Mentoring / Love
Management of Details
These are the gifts I bring to the table. Many map back to my librarianship. I am so grateful to have found something that I can do well.
 Particularly writing is more and more important to me recently. Once the current article that I am working on has been accepted, the next project in my disabilities studies research will be a book. Having produced two articles in quick succession, I am ready for the longer format.

What’s working!

The ability to do academic writing is well rewarded here at CUNY.  In an effort to help my colleagues, this is a list of what is currently working for me. This is how I became a writer.

  • Find something you are really passionate about. It really helps if you are excited to keep diving into whatever it is.  This has been one of the engines driving me. When I started doing disabilities studies work, it really took off like a rocket.
  • What can you give up? I wrote an article without reassignment leave. I wrote on the train. I wrote nights and weekends. I stopped doing my volunteer work.
  • Work on it every day, even if it’s for 15 minutes. Read an article on the subway or something.  The reason for this is that it is really hard to put it down and pick it up again a week later. (This is what I didn’t understand with Junior Reassignment Leave.)  You have to keep the fire lit. This is the main point. Become obsessed with it.
  • Morning Pages
    • This is a point learned from Julia Cameron. She calls them Morning Pages, and insists on long hand.  I have morphed a little bit, I use my ipad and a Bluetooth keyboard. The point is a daily free write.  Give yourself permission to scribble.
  • Get yourself a collaborator. Somebody to keep you on task and to read your writing.  Somebody to call when your courage fails you. That’s one of the greatest gifts that my interest in disabilities studies has brought me.  My collaborator is Scott Sheidlower from York College.
  • Look for other opportunities to write. Write newsletter articles for your community organization. I really do believe that other kinds of writing that don’t go on my CV has increased my ability to show up for scholarship.
  • Carry a notebook around with you. Mine is my ipad. I have also seen a composition notebook used to great effect by a poet.
  •  Read constantly. It really doesn’t matter what.

The two major points that have changed my life are finding a passion, and being willing to work on it every day.

Apps and stuff:  ToDoist, Evernote, Google Drive

Books:

The Clockwork Muse: A Practical Guide to Writing Dissertations, Theses and Books

The Artist’s Way

 

My new survey is ready

Please feel free to distribute this call for participation to any who you think will be interested.

 

Our research into the impact of library workers with disabilities is expanding.  Some of you will remember our previous survey. “Claiming Our Space” will be published by Library Trends (67:3, Winter 2019).  While working through the first pass, several questions came up that we wanted to address. So the survey has been revised and expanded.  

 

We are welcoming all library workers.

We are addressing the impact of the ADA.

We are addressing intersectionality. Drawing a strong portrait should include the extent that our respondents help us to see their multiple identities (race, sexual identity etc.).  

We want to know more about navigating the library world with an invisible disability.

 

Will you help us continue to understand?

(Data will be aggregated. All direct quotes will be anonymous. )

 

Link to the Survey

 

Robin Brown, MLS, MA

Associate  Professor

Information Literacy Librarian

Borough of Manhattan Community College

199 Chambers Street, Rm. S410L

New York, NY 10007

 

212-220-1445 (office)

732-266-7360 (cell)

rbrown@bmcc.cuny.edu

 

Scott Sheidlower is a  Professor and head of circulation and the archivist in the library at York College of the City University of New York [CUNY] in Jamaica, Queens, New York City.  He has an M.A. in Art History from NYU; an M.A. in Arts Administration, also from NYU; and an M.L.S. from Queens College/CUNY. He is co-author of Humor and Information Literacy: Practical Techniques for Library Instruction  (Libraries Unlimited, 2011). His e-mail is ssheidlower@york.cuny.edu.

 

A further update on the Apple “Rings”

Because my exercise is outdoors, and attached to my work schedule, I have decided to stop monitoring the Activity Rings.

This was after going for a nice ride on my tricycle and having my “rings” tell me that I had not gotten any “exercise.”  Probably because I was cruising and not really raising my heart rate.  I don’t know whether the disconnect has to do with being disabled or not.  So I decided not to let the rings rule my self esteem or my serenity.

This allowed me to tolerate a snow day yesterday.  I was indoors all day.  I haven’t looked, but I’m sure my rings were very incomplete.

I was really happy to get out this morning, despite the suburban slush.  Probably will sleep better to…

 

 

Taking my exercise to the next level.

I received an Apple Watch for Christmas. Thank you, T. What we didn’t know was that it would spark my imagination, in terms of getting exercise.

https://www.apple.com/watch/close-your-rings/

I’ve gone back to the “power walking” that I talked about in the Fall.  Usually I can log 30 minutes of “exercise” (defined as raising my heart rate) on the way to work.  I try not to let it distract me from the other things that I have going on, but it amuses me to close my rings.

Gratitude

Like so many other people with CP, the day of my birth was a very bad day for my mother.  I arrived early, with the cord wrapped around my neck.
It is so good to be alive, I want to offer up gratitude and thanks for the people who worked so hard to save my life on the day I was born. Thank you, it is good to be alive.
I got lucky. It was mitigated. Clearly there was work that was done in the first couple of minutes to keep the brain damage to a minimum. CP covers a very wide impact spectrum. The damage is very real, but it’s also very moderate. Occasionally it’s a difficult experience, but I am able to function at a very high level.
Because I am disabled I have met some extraordinary people who have truly constributed to the quality of my life.  My beloved is an amazing human being who has his own membership card to the disabled planet. Because he qualifies, he can see me as a woman, and is able to love me “exactly as I am.” I am the beloved wife of a good man, and in our house “normal” is a setting on the washing machine. If I were not disabled, would we have this quality of love and compassion for each other?
There is J. J is retired. She is post polio and has multiple other issues, including a much higher level of chronic pain than I deal with.  When she tells me that I get 10 minutes on the “self pity pot” a day, I listen. After 10 minutes, it’s time to get up and go do something to make the world a better place. I’m glad we are friends.
I could go on and on. The people I have met are truly amazing human beings. I make the thought experiment, could we rewind back to day one and change the reality? That suggests that to be disabled is some kind of disaster that is to be avoided at all costs. I feel like I want to stand my ground with my disabled brothers and sisters. I am so grateful for all the ways that I am the way I am. I need help to age gracefully, but my life is exactly as it should be.
It is good to be alive.

Power Walking

I was thinking on the way in this morning about the element of power walking.  The first two reasons why I have a rollator, I have probably described here before.  Because I have CP I am accident prone, particularly when I get fatigued.  I have spinal arthritis. The lumbar region of my spine is pretty nasty. Getting the stuff off my back for my commute is huge.  Number three has to be the sheer pleasure of what I call “power walking.” It is still not at able bodied speed, but it’s clearly fun to fly, and my family noticed it when I first got a rollator.  I think that under the influence of the step challenge, I have taken it up another notch.  Robin flies.

I’m hard on my equipment.

I walked 28.2 miles so far this week. (It will be 30 by the end of the week.) This included 7.6 miles yesterday. What is not too surprising that in the process my rollator is showing signs of stress again. (It probably didn’t help that it was a mucky week.) I have a reputation for shredding ball bearings. I am very grateful to T, aka my pit crew, who says “keep going, we will fix it.”

One of the great things about my current rollator is that we can get parts.

 

Good Equipment

A friend once told me that people who live in really snowy places say that there is no bad weather, only bad equipment.  So? In honor of a wet week, I want to talk about walking in the rain.  I am still doing the step challenge. That means that I generally don’t except rides, or taxis or anything else besides my feet, even if it’s raining. I don’t do umbrellas. I really never was comfortable with umbrellas, even before I started to use my hands to reach for support. I have “the best raincoat on the planet.” It only really fails me in a downpour.  When in doubt bring it with me, because the difference between success and failure in a sudden storm, is whether or not I have my coat.
I also have a very beaten up Vera Bradley quilted backpack, that my sister gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago. What I didn’t know I needed. A quilted backpack soaks up a certain amount of water before it starts to truly leak.
So I have good equipment, but I really hope it stops raining sometime soon. I feel soggy.

Walking is my medicine

 Sept 12 is the launch date for  CUNY Steptember Challenge.
I jumped right into it, because I regularly walk 4-5 miles a day, and it will be interesting to carry my phone consistently and see how far I really do walk.  Walking is for me a primary wellness practice. I learn and grow emotionally and spiritually while putting one foot in front of the other.  Often when I get to wherever I am going, I have insights that I need to write down.  I also think that it keeps me as well as I can be. All my body systems respond  to the rhythm of the road. I require fresh air and sunshine.
It’s also transportation. A short list of places I go in my hometown (which is why it takes six months to wear shoes out):
  • The Diner
  • Church
  • The Public Library
  • The Neighborhood Drugstore
  • The Grocery Store
  • The Train Station
  • The Farmers Market
  • The Post Office
  • Doctor’s Office

So?  I recommend walking.

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